I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
