is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're like the curious george of whores
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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