i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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