You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
