His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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