What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
