We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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