rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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