I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If that was your dad, he is hot
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
