I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
