You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
