Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
