I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
