I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
