why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
