Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
two words...techno handjob
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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