I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
40s are totally the cure
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
