I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I look better un-naked...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize