You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
