i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
