Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
