did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
