About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize