i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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