Whod you bang
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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