i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
