My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
