i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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