I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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