I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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