Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i drank out of a bidet.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
