Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
