forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
