I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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