You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
