The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
