nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
