It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
