Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
too bad you live with your parents still
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
