i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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