tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
