just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
