butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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