I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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