what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
