she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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