ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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