I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
