i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
