God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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