I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
