dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
