no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
