Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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